I want to make a zoo with you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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