I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
