shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
