Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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