I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
