I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
