Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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