therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
