By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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