dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
