I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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