It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You are a genius and a whore.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
