there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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