Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
