They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
