everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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