Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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