playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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