dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
