he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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