Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
