While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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