I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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