How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
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i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
