no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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