She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
