My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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