Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
