Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
