no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
