come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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