im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't turn off my feet"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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