I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Everything about him screamed your future.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
