Nicole vs. Life
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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