Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
