I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
