I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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