No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
