Is it because I queefed?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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