My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
