Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
