I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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