Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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