Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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