Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
