dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dignity is for republicans.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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