I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize