Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
