The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
