Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
